This weeks quote from A Woman Who Doesn’t Quit is from Winston Churchill, ” Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.” At the beginning of the reading I was pretty sure I knew that I would discuss my dream of becoming a teacher and how I never gave up on it because I knew since I was 4 that was what I was suppose to do.
But, as I continued to read through the story of Ruth and the quit quitting verses laid out by Nicki Koziarz, I began to direct a different focus. Each day I was reminded of the words from Mercy Me’s song Move,
“I just might bend but I won’t break.”
I did not know for sure where this was going until I read Ruth 2:1-2 when Ruth asks Naomi the following question, “Will you let me go into the fields and gather fallen grain behind someone who allows me to?” It was not the words exactly that drove my focus but the responding text written by Koziarz,
Instead of sitting around eating Hershey’s Kisses® and vegging out on Netflix, Ruth asks a very specific question: Can I get to work? It’s like she knows if she doesn’t start to put some movement in her life she’s going to fall into the cycle of defeat. She’s tired of the grieving process, of feeling hopeless, and she’s made this commitment. Something has to change.
Recently, I had a conversation with my husband about the Mother’s Day gift of all the episodes of one of my all time favorite shows, Big Bang Theory. He kept on asking me on when we could begin watching them and I kept on putting him off. I do not remember how the discussion began, but I explained to him through many tears that I was scared to begin the series. This may sound odd to you; however, we have a habit of getting sucked into a show and our life will become completely engulfed by it until it is over, watching hours and hours at a time. We stay up late which causes me to sleep in and I get nothing done which stresses me out. Although we laugh and have fun spending time with one another, it really just sucks the life out of me. Which during normal times I could probably have another month of lazy; but during these times of stay at home orders and social distancing it petrifies me.
Before we moved to Idaho, I suffered greatly with depression and anxiety. My poor mental health debilitated me to where I watched Netflix and ate Pringles all day. This bad habit left me with nothing and led me toward staying in bed, staring at the ceiling, and sleeping. I avoided everything and everyone. I was miserable and it tore my family into pieces. They were some dark days, weeks, months, years …..
I cannot go back to what was. I have been doing so good: graduating from college, becoming a teacher, creating a life that I have always wanted with new dreams and goals for my future. I am tired of giving up and feeling worthless. I made a commitment to myself and my family. I needed to do something different if we were going to watch the show this summer. So we came to the agreement that we would watch only two episodes each evening he was home. I look forward to our time – it gives us something to giggle about every day!
“I just might bend but I won’t break… As long as I can see your face “ Literally and figuratively, I have to move. I have to physically move each day as I build strength and stamina; as well as moving toward my goal and moving toward the One who gives me life.
No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.I Corinthians 10:13
It is this process of change that will bend us, shape us, and mold us into the woman (or man) that we are becoming. I am becoming the woman who does not quit.
Is there an area of your life that needs a change? Are there places where you need to move? Please feel free to share with me in the comments below so that I can support you during the “bending” process. Until next time – a latte of sparkles & giggles,